| Been A While... |
[18 Jul 2005|09:46pm] |
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Xena Theme Song |
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Welllll...
It's been a while since I've updated this journal. Heh, it's been awhile since I've updated ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) vixxxenation as well! Everything has been so busy these past few months and when they haven't been, I've just been chilling with my wife looking forward to our amazing future ahead! Even now, like today, I asked Amanda if she could believe we were actually married. Sometimes, was the answer.. because it's just so hard to believe at times... cause you're so unbelievably happy you're afraid that it may be a dream. You're afraid you'll actually think that and bham... you find out it was a dream all along and you wake up in your bed, sad and alone... with nothing but the feeling of emptiness. *sighs* I don't want to ever go through that again. And I won't.
See, around this time last summer, I was going through so many hard periods of my life. My dad had passed away and that in it's own was just so... it's still so hard to deal with. I know there were a lot of times when we just didn't see eye to eye... on a silent level because we'd never talk about it. But my dad was the most amazing man. I'll never forget what he's done for us. Yes, we've all had problems and issues with our parents, but those I can look past and see the man he really was... and I miss him so much. I still break down... and I'm so thankful that Amanda is there to hold me. She's there to comfort me and though she can't really say anything to make the pain go away, she eases it with her love when she let's me cry in her arms. I went through some stages last summer, trying to deal, trying to forget... trying to deny a few things. I started smoking, I was really wanting to smoke pot (which I never did) and I did a few other things I won't mention here. My love life was on the rocks...I was in love with my best friend. We all have our hard times and we all have diffuculties explaining them... that was mine. I'm just thankful I never went back to being who I was when I was 15 and 19. I don't think I could cause myheart was in a really safe place... my mind was off... but my heart was kept captive with my beautiful soulmate.
I have a Dr. appointment on Friday. Second one this month... blah. First time I went to talk about my heart problem. Fucker just tried to put me on some anti-depressent shit... that almost fucking killed me! Seriously. I took a little less then half my dosage and I so wasn't myself... I went into work but I was so out of it. *sighs* I never took them again. I think I'm going to flush them. Now, I'm going because I've been getting mysterious bruises on me. My legs... and now my arm... left arm. It's fading now, but the ones on my legs are still there. I'm just afraid he'll give me hell for not taking those other meds he gave me. I think since I've been on Aspirin, a pretty high dose, my blood's been getting a little too thin. Ah well, I'll get it checked out.
And I must say I'm really hating those 11am-8pm shifts. I hate closing. Closing with Mike isn't bad, but fuck me, I hate it. I'd rather wake up at 7:15am and work those 8am-5pm shifts. Those I can handle because then me and my baby can go home (OUR HOME!! *BIG GRIN*) and have dinner, watch Xena or a movie and just, be a good married couple who has lotsa sex! *grins* Oh, and yes, we do. :P
Tonight, she's making me her famous Chili!! MMMmmmMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmm!!! She's in the kitchen right now as I am sitting on the living room floor in PJ's! I was so excited when I woke up frozen this morning. Fuck me the weather has been a bitch with the humidity, so when I woke up early this morning freezing my ass off, I was more than happy to pull up the covers and snuggle into Amanda warm body, pulling her close to me and feeling her body sink into mine. I love the feel of her skin again me, especially when we're sleeping and GOD...I love you baby! So yes, I'm in some PJ bottoms and a t-shirt!! :D It's 15c out there! I love it!!
Well, I'm thinking of investing into a desktop pc... Amanda and I were looking at some advertisments... so me thinks I may do that. And then I can put Sims on it!!!
Well me thinks I'm going to seriously start babbling here. So, I'm going to go EAT! ME'S HUNGWY!!! MmMmMMmMMMMMMmmmmmMMMM!!!
I LOVE YOU AMANDA!!!! God baby, I'm so in love with you.
( Memory to make you mile *smiles* )
*kisses softly*
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| Long Time... Blah. |
[31 Mar 2005|01:48pm] |
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Wank It - Out of Your Mouth |
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I feel a babble mood hittin me. I know, I'm posting in dark_author, but meh, still my journal, right? :P You all can check out vixxxenation if you'd like! That's my main one. In case you didn't know...LMAO. My baby just finished my new layout! *grins* I absolutely LOVE it! Thank you gorgeous!
My baby's at work right now. She's got a kickass job and I'm not sure if she'll even agree with me! But I want her job now... so I gotta find me a job like that. Not that I'm that good with computers anyway, or have my Gr. 12! But it's all good, I'm cute... I'll get it, afterall I get things free. :P (I SO DO NOT! Not everything *pouts*)
Thank GOD the snow is melting! I can't wait for warmer weather, not hot weather, just warmer weather. This is perfect weather because I can wear my hoodie out! Well, Amanda's! *grins* God I miss her. *sighs* I can't wait for July to come, and hopefully we can do this sooner than that, but we'll be getting married. We would've last week, but with it being a holiday, and not having two witnesses... we decided to hold off. but this summer, I officially become Ernestine Lewis. *grins* LOVING IT!!
In May, I go for another heart procedure... so yay! I have to remember to take time off though. Because if I don't now, then I'll forget and that'd be bad. LOL! :|
SO yea, going to post this same damn thing in vixxxenation. Hehe!
TRU CALLING TONIGHT!!! YAY!!!!
C-YA!
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[16 Jan 2005|11:36am] |
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I Still Cry - Ilse De Lange |
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Okay, so "omg" right? I'm actually updating this journal, rather than vixxxenation but that's because I can't update that one right now. LOL. It's on "Madcow cluster" *shrugs* What.ever. Luckily my had this one... and it still works. LMAO
*sighs* I missed my "Fuck" icon. I'm going to get a black rose tattoo. LOL.I've always wanted a black rose but my mom was all "*gasp* why a black rose? that's... death." Meh, it's fucking cool! I don't know, what do you think, baby?
I've had one CD in my player for the past few weeks, well, since Christmas, LOL. I mean, I switched them around, but this one is played everynight. ~Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson~ Here are a few lyrics, and no, they don't apply to anyone... they're just a few of my favourites. *grins* Well, okay, Hear Me is one, but just scratch out the part "are you listening?" and "can you hear me?" because I really know you can. Just, the rest....fits so well. *smiles* As well as Before You Love, which isn't on this Cd, but on 'Thankful'. And "Gone" and "Since U Been Gone" I played over and over because I love the freakin music! And I can't help but since whenever they play. LOL.
( Hear Me )
( Gone )
( Since U Been Gone )
( Before Your Love )
Funny though, I'm not listening to Kelly Clarkson, just an old mixed cd with one of my favourite songs...depressed much? LOL.
Later! Hopefully my other lj will be up by tomorrow.
I love you, Belle.
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| Friends Only Banner Snagged From lornyloo |
[23 May 2004|12:32am] |
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| Decision... |
[22 May 2004|11:36am] |
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Headstrong - Trapt |
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Well...I've come to the conclusion...well, decision that I'm probably going to make this journal "Friends Only" from now on. So...if you aren't signed in and added to my friends list
...no peeking for you.
But we'll see.
:)
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| Bless Their Souls |
[19 May 2004|11:37pm] |
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May 19th is the date today.
It's been two years since Nicole, Renee, Olive and Bernard passed away. I'll never forget that weekend...never.
We just got back from Calgary and on Mr. Vanderzande gave us a ride home from the school, and on the way he was telling us her heard about a four person death up by Rice Lake.
My mom immediately clasped my hand and said, "My daughter is out there camping with her friends."
See, May long weekend Victoria Day is on Monday, it's a holiday for us...and all the Tourists come here and fish, camp, whatever. And that weekend, my sister decided to go out camping with her best friend, Nicole.
Well...to make a long story short. My mom couldn't get a hold of my sister and she was panicking, then we get a call saying that my sister may have been one of the four. I crumbled to my knees and just lost it. A sigh of relief came when my sister called us...but she was hysterical.
Nicole, along with her mom, Olive, Dad, Bernard and fiance, Renee died in a camper trailer of Carbon Monoxide poisoning. My sister was the one that found them. Imagine finding your best friend... a friend who has ALWAYS been there for you, grew up with you, knew every little detail and made a pact that no matter what, they'd marry into each other's family... and have them gone just like that? Finding them...*sighs*
Bless that family and bless their souls. I truly hope they've moved on and are embracing what is next for them.
My sister went out to Rice Lake, where their ashes were spread. I don't think this will be something she will ever get over...and I truly don't blame her.
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| Job Update |
[19 May 2004|04:10pm] |
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Punk Music |
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Just a little update about my job interview. It never happened.
See, I never did mention that the person hiring me was my Aunt Ruby... though she's not my real aunt, I've known her for a long time and she was the one who set me up with an appointment for an interview.
Well, to make a long story short (let's see if I can do that) everything she worked for this past Spring and Winter, her boss told her she was no longing running the marina...after all the hard work she put into it, they took it from her and shoved her into a corner (not literally) so when I went there for my interview and aptitude test, she came back from venting to my uncle Fred (real one lol) and told me that I may not want to work there anymore, since she was putting in her two weeks notice and since technically it was her who was hiring me for that position. So she said she'd call me and let me know, either way (of she was going to stay or leave) and let me know.
Well, she called me back not too long ago, and I go back in for 2:30pm tomorrow. So it looks like she was talked back into staying. Not so nervous anymore. She said she was going to set me up for training...so I'm taking a wild guess and saying that I passed the interview? LOL...I hope so. It's just that damn aptitude test. :|
I just wanted to say that. You can ignore this entry. Of course if you do...and you're reading this, technically you read it anyway. :P
:D Oh, Scarlette! Do you think we can make our downtown trip in the afternoon? I'm sorry about this 2:30pm thingy... forgive me?
Peace Love and Goldfish Crackers :)
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| Snagged From washizdarkbliss |
[18 May 2004|09:36pm] |
Hmm...Dunno what I'm doing...LOL
Copy this:
[font color="lj name"][b]lj name[/b][/font]
replacing [ ]'s with < >'s and "lj name" with your username.
dark_author
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| The Dreaded Phone Call...With A Silver Lining! |
[18 May 2004|05:00pm] |
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Forgive Me - Evanescence |
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I went to the hospital this morning and got my heart monitor put on. ITCHY! Sorry.. I have to deal with this for two days lol.
Um, I just got a call from Canadian Tire...didn't get the job at the marina. :( But that's okay... they still want me to come in tomorrow for an interview and an aptitude test. I'll be applying for "the filler staff" where I'll stock and take numbers and such, the hours are already there... 2:30pm - 11:30pm so basically those are the hours I'd be working. Ahhh now I'm all nervous.
Wish me luck! :)
I'm off to listen to music, maybe write a little and umm... oh yea, try to calm down! LOL. The little heart monitor thingy will record my heart rate... damn... no sex. :| LMAO!
Latio! I'll beio backa latio!<==ejlingo ;)
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